in orbit

I mostly talk about video games and the world wide web



Inception is a movie that makes you think, but perhaps not as much as it could. I don't make any claims so be some sort of film intellectual, I'm perfectly happy to watch Die Hard for the tenth time, but when a movie like Inception comes along it lends itself to thinking about it in a way you would not judge a film like Die Hard. Not that I think either movie is bad; Die Hard is one of my favorite movies and I enjoyed Inception a good deal.

In case it needs saying there will be plenty of spoilers to follow.

Continue reading...



Moon is something of a dying breed in the sci-fi genre. Where most science fiction films these days could be best described as enabling 'epicness', Moon gets back to the roots of science fiction with its small-scale scope.

What I mean by that is, compared to films such as Star Wars, Moon is very modest. It takes place on a rock humanity was able to reach in the 1970s, and it's set in what is only the near future. However, the setting is merely a backdrop for the real story. This film could have just as easily taken place in a desert on Earth or a remote planet or really anywhere that's suitably isolated. The Moon is the perfect backdrop, however, because of its proximity to Earth and ability to seem extremely far away but still be within reach. You can see the Earth in great detail from the Moon, so it seems that much closer. As a man who has been in almost complete isolation for three years, Sam Bell can see his goal. He can see his home, and perhaps that makes his stay on Earth's only natural satellite that much more unbearable.

As has been noted many, many times, Moon works better the less you know about it. If you haven't seen the trailer yet, don't watch it. If you have seen it, try and forget it (something I somehow managed to do). The less you know about this going in, the better. It is worth noting that even though the trailer seems extremely revealing, it's actually not. The things shown in it are actually misleading as to the size of their role in the film. However, even though it's not a huge spoiler, the elements revealed in it are better left unseen until you actually go and watch the movie.

That's all I'm going to say about it (what I've already given away may have been enough), so if you still want to see it I suggest not reading the rest of this article as it is going to become extremely spoiler laden.

Continue reading...


To Boldly Go

In spite of being a fairly large nerd, I've never really been into Star Trek. The original series was of course before my time and the first film I actually recall releasing was The Undiscovered Country, which is the final one set in the original series universe. That was in 1991 when I was ten years old, and I believe I only recall watching it on HBO. The only scene I can recall is Captain Kirk kicking an alien in the knees, only to discover that he's kicked the poor fellow in his genitalia.

Aside from that my exposure to the original series is pretty minimal. I've seen scenes from multiple episodes, but I don't believe I've ever sat down and watched one in its entirety. I've avoided all the films with the exception of a few scenes from The Wrath of Kahn and The Voyage Home. In fact the only Star Trek film I've actually seen all the way through was First Contact and that's only because my college broadcasted it on the university-only movie channel (which appeared to just be someone showing DVDs and was apparently not legal since they stopped showing them in my senior year and just gave us HBO). I've seen a number of episodes of The Next Generation since I was fairly into it when I was younger, though even then I think I was watching reruns.

Point being that I have no real attachment to Star Trek as a franchise. When I heard J.J. Abrams was directing a series reboot I admit I was intrigued since I will apparently watch anything he is involved in (except Alias somehow, though saw an episode of Felicity once) but I didn't really put much thought into it beyond the initial intrigue.

So anyway, after an impressive trailer and a massive amount of internet-based hype, I decided it was time to break my Star Trek motion picture cherry, so to speak. Actually the trailer was enough to make me want to see it because it ended up looking awesome instead of boring, which I think is an important quality for any movie to have. The internet-based hype was an added bonus to get me to see it sooner and avoid being spoiled (spoiler: I was minorly spoiled a couple of times anyway).

Continue reading...


Actually I... I've got one of these.

Strangely enough after much soul searching I think I might actually be looking forward to The Golden Army more than The Dark Knight even though I would consider Batman Begins superior to Hellboy and they both have retained their cast and director. Crazy. I will see both. Also on a related note Wanted is not a very good movie (but tolerable once it makes you lose your mind) and WALL-E is amazing. That is all.

Later, George

George Carlin
(1937 - 2008)

Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball palyers from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father’s it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance:

  • If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.

  • If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein’s army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.

  • Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley’s son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley’s son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum’s son that will be precisely ironic.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This is something I've been sitting on since I saw the movie on opening weekend, I guess both due to lack of time and also my desire to make sure I was not jumping on some crazy Internet hate bandwagon fueled by Doritos and nostalgia for the older Indiana Jones films. However a decent amount of time has passed and I'm now pretty firmly in the camp of Indy 4 not being as good as any of the previous three.

It does of course get held up to a higher standard than any other movie because it is an Indiana Jones film. This is perhaps somewhat unfair to it as a movie in the general sense, but I think entirely fair given that it's part of a franchise. We hold second and third seasons of television shows up to standard based on how much we liked the previous season. The Phantom Menace led to disappointment in part due to it's unattainable expectations but also simply because it was not as enjoyable as the previous films. Star Wars wasn't perfect, and neither was Indiana Jones. What the Indiana Jones films did have going for them, however, was excitement, good action, and characters who usually evoked some sort of emotion in the viewer, many times the emotion intended by the writer.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, while for the most part technically impressive and competant, fell slightly short as an adventure movie but pretty much failed as an Indiana Jones movie. Actually, let me rephrase that slightly. It failed as a good Indiana Jones movie. It did have all the components to make it an Indiana Jones movie, it just failed to use them in an engaging way.

Since I'm in the mood to write entirely too much text, the rest is a click away. Many spoilers lie ahead!

Continue reading...


Everyone drifts here, it's impossible to drive straight!

If you haven't seen it, this video 'Overdrift' is pretty much the greatest thing in the history of the internet:

There's also a teaser for part two but who knows when the actual thing is coming.

Mmmm, Floor Pie

In anticipation of the long delayed Simpsons Movie I decided to sift through the bowels of and pick out my personal favorite episodes. Okay there are 300-something episodes, so that's kind of a tough task, though I will admit I stopped being thorough after season 11.

Some quick facts about my initial compilation (if you don't care, then go here), which contained sixty-four episodes, mostly based on quotes and funny moments that have stuck with me. Episodes from every season from 2 - 12 are there. Season 12 has the least with 1 episode, season 8 had the most with 10 episodes. The peak of the series, for me anyway, appeared to be season 5 - 8, which accounted for 37 of the 64 episodes. However upon selecting the top 15 (which is a weird number of episodes, but I felt 20 was too many and 10 not enough) I found myself tending to stay away from most episodes airing after season 7. In fact this list is more or less a bell curve starting low at season three, peaking at season 5 -7 and then dropping back down for seasons 8 and 9.

Ordering them wasn't easy, but I mainly went on instinct. This is all personal taste of course, because we all know the Simpsons is serious business. I did the best I could.

But enough of that crap, on to the list!


More Than Meets... Something

In the movie industrie's growing impatience, midnight showings seem to have been bumped down to 9pm, or even 8pm showings. I recall the big stink over Transformers being released on 7.4.7 (it's on all the posters) which was then shifted to 7.3.7... thusly seeing it on 7.2.7 was accomplished. I suppose it was midnight somewhere.

I sort of grew up with Transformers. The original series ran from 1984 - 1987, which means I was six when it was canceled. Of course it was rerun many, many times while the series and toys were milked for about ten years until Beast Wars (the second iteration of the series) came out.

I've always been a opponent of nostalgia. Not in the sense that I don't think people should have it, but in the sense that thinking all the shit you enjoyed as a child was awesome and is untouchable is just silly. You will always have the memories, no matter how crappy the TV show was. I would argue that the vast majority, if not the entirety, of animated children's programs produced before 1992 (that's when the Batman animated series came out, which by the way still has its own set of issues) were rather poor in quality. Transformers was most definitely in that category. Silly plots, bad animation, mediocre voice acting, poor writing all plagued the original series with a few exceptions (Frank Welker, voice of Megatron and Soundwave and probably a fuckload of others, remains one of the greatest voice actors of our time, and Peter Cullen, voice of Optimus Prime (as well as Eeyore if you are familiar with Winnie the Pooh), has pretty much the perfect voice and delivery for the role). I've watched a few episodes recently, and the original movie, and they do not hold up to viewings today. Still, there's always been something special about Transforming robots that like to shoot each other with lasers and cause property damage that probably makes insurance companies want to add 'giant robot damage' clauses to their policies.

Anyway the point of all that was I don't care if Michael Bay 'rapes my childhood' because the very concept of such a thing is stupid. Transformers could have been two hours of Optimus Prime and Megatron having gay robot sex and peeing on Chris Latta's grave (who, by the way, aside from being Starscream and Cobra Commander (I never watched GI Joe) was also the original voice of Mr. Burns back in '89-'90) and it wouldn't have mattered because a) you can't take away my childhood memories and b) the original series sucked anyway, so get the fuck over it.

Oh right, so there was a movie. Essentially it's exactly what you'd expect from Transformers and Michael Bay. There are large robots who transform from various vehicles into robot form. Half of these large robots are Decepticons, and the other half are Autobots. Decepticons and Autobots are like Democrats and Republicans (I'll let you decide which is which) in that they fucking despise each other, but in the end they're all giant assholes who like to wreck up the place.

Also as with Transformers, there are a variety of humans who you honestly don't care about. In fact they are kind of annoying. There's the main character, Sam Witwicky, who does a decent job of comedic delivery, and his way over the fucking top parents. He's also got a girlfriend who is hot, only she's not his girlfriend until the very end of the movie, but rather just some random chick he lures into his car. Then there's some NSA/hacker kids but their plot never goes anywhere, but one of them is a hot blonde with an accent I can't quite place, and the other is a hilarious fat black man, which is just asking for wacky hijinks. Their plot never goes anywhere. In fact I don't even remember what happened to them, and I don't really care.

The movie spends some time meandering since Sam has purchased a car that turns out to be an Autobot but he's also trying to pick up girls... I don't know. There are a couple Decepticon fights, and by fights I mean they fuck the humans up. Then just when you're getting tired of human banter and obvious jokes fucking Bumblebee finally calls in the calvary and a few more Autobots show up. From where? Space. That's all that needs to be said.

Following that we get an awesome sequence where Sam looks for some glasses in his room (the Autobots need them for... something) while the gigantic Autobots attempt to hide from his parents. I know it sounds weird but it was quite amusing.

After that they finally get to fucking shit up and there are some really well done fight sequences and lots of explosions and tons and tons of property damage. Megatron is only in the movie for about a half hour, and he's not overly menacing. Also the final fight ends sort of abruptly and not at all how I was expecting it to (it's almost anti-climactic). However, the lack of a decent story or any sort of meaningful character development can be overlooked because in the end it is giant transforming robots with lasers shooting the shit out of each other. And in the end, isn't that what really matters? Yes. Yes it is.

John McClane Kicks Ass

That's pretty much all there is to say about that. I am considering creating an update category called 'Awesome Shit' for the sole purpose of categorizing this update.

A Moment of Silence Please

(1917 2007)

Don Herbert, aka Mr. Wizard, died yesterday from bone cancer. I actually thought the guy was already dead, but I used to watch his show at like 6am every day before middle school (that or Transformers and sometimes Captain Planet) and a bunch before that. Apparently it ran from 1983 until 1990 and reruns aired until 2000. Anyway, thanks Mr. Wizard! Without you I'd never have seen a vacuum cleaner suck grape juice through a straw up to the 7th floor of some building, or learned how to make a match box land on its side when you drop it... and something about friction. Okay so I don't remember all of what the show taught, but I remember enjoying it, and that's what counts, I think. Adeiu, good sir! Thanks for dropping the science.

Hey Look At My Stuff!

So my iRiver Clix was delivered to me yesterday while I was at work. It's a tiny ass device, but it's pretty slick. Plays music, movies, displays text files, plays (basic) flash games, FM radio, image viewer (including display of album covers)... only 2GB of space, but I already have a 20gb player, so I'm not worried about that. Even though the screen is tiny (2.2" wide according to the specs), I have been randomly encoding shit to play on it until the novelty wears off. Last night I ripped Spider-Man 2 from my DVD and now I'm watching it on this thing for whatever reason. I have a 26" LCD TV, but whatever I can't put that in my pocket!

Anyway I'm bored, so here's a stupid low-quality YouTube video of Spider-Man 2 playing on it!

I'm done for now.
iRiver Clix


New Year

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is really good. Like, it's the sort of game I'd normally hate what with not too much action and a lot of roaming and stuff, but somehow Zelda games are always done in just the right way that I love them. Minish Cap on GBA was another great example. I may have to check out the N64 titles whenever they show up on Virtual Console. Maybe the Game Cube ones, but that would require spending more than $10. We'll see I guess.

Ever had a really awesome story that you couldn't tell? Not necessarily awesome, but I think from an outside perspective it would be pretty awesome. I don't have many stories, so I sort of like having them. Like that time in college I accidentally got super duper shitfaced because my friend and I kept buying shots for these two hot (or at least, to my inebriated self they were hot) chicks who would make one every time you did it. I love that story, even though I look like a complete moron for most of it. Maybe if I hadn't been to another bar before that one it would have been okay. Ah well.

That was kind of random, so I'm going to switch back to gaming because I am a giant dork. 2007 has some cool stuff coming. We've got BioShock, Half-Life 2: Episode 2/Team Fortress 2/Portal for PC (BioShock on 360 as well, but I kind of hate playing shooters on a console, also note how I write BioShock instead of Bioshock because that's what I was told is correct). GTA4 will be out on 360 at the same time it's out on PS3, so for once I don't have to wait a bajillion years for it to come out on a platform I already own. Metroid Prime 3 comes out on the Wii, and hopefully will not have controls that I hate (I still need to play the first two). There's also Mario Galaxy for Wii. On DS I'm sure there will be some fun stuff I don't know about, but the new Zelda for DS (Phantom Hourglass) should be neat. There's also potentially a Wii-exclusive Zelda, but nobody knows for sure right now.

I think I need to see Children of Men. Also, did anyone else notice that not a single Jim Carrey movie came out in 2006? However he's starring in what looks to be a crazy-ass Joel Schumacher movie called The Number 23. I don't even know what to say about this, but it looks like it could be awesome. It may even make me forgive Joel for certain abominations which names I dare not speak. Not even Keifer's awesome role in Phone Booth could make me do that.

Holy crap, speaking of Keifer, season six of 24 starts in a week! I'm super excited because my life has been devoid of Jack Bauer kicking ass and yelling loudly lately. Especially since I watched seasons 1 - 4 while season 5 was going on so I had an overload of Bauer for a while there and then when season five ended my life was strangely empty. Hopefully this season is good. I'm not looking for season two good, just be better than season three. That's my only requirement. By the way the order of awesome, in case you're interested, is 2 > 1 > 5 > 3 > 4. One and five are very close though, but one gets props for setting the bar. Two is so awesome I can't even imagine. Three is decent, or at least it has a bunch of good episodes with some not so great ones sprinkled throughout. Four is mostly crappy the whole way through, because it tries way too hard. THERE'S NO TIME!!

And now before I ramble on any longer I realize that I need to get ready for work and I am wasting my morning updating my stupid blog. Oh how I hate that word. Blog. Blog. Bloggin'! Maybe I'll be on CNN if I say something political. I am, of course, a member of the exclusive Blogosphere. I can't believe I capitalized that. Or even said it. Anyway, impeach Bush! Woo!


Your show date: Monday December 4, 2006


Amount of tickets: 2

Name of ticket holder: Michael Watson

I will also be at the Colbert Report yet again on November 30th. I have no idea how the ticket wait was so short, I e-mailed them with requests on September 20th or so. I hope the guests are good! Also it's kind of a shame all the best correspondents on the Daily Show have since moved on, but at least Jon Stewart is still there. That's it!


So in my never ending quest to apparently never leave New York City, I was there four days in a row, Friday through Monday. I don't live there yet. Fun times though.

Monday (which is today, though it technically ended eight minutes ago), I went to see a taping of The Colbert Report. Dahanese, who is awesome for many reasons, got tickets back in March. I was actually a replacement invite because her sister's boyfriend (who was originally invited) is both out of town and apparently doesn't care for the Colbert Report (their relationship is in serious jeopardy now!), so I win at being the fourth choice! Woo!

At any rate, it was a really fun experience. We are insane, so we got there at 3pm or so and were first in line, and thus had totally bitchin' front and center seats. There was a comedian guy who warmed up the audience (he was pretty funny) and then the stage manager came out to tell us when to clap (we're not allowed to during the beginning of the show, though laughing is okay apparently). Then finally Colbert himself popped out and high fived the entire front row twice (I'll never wash this hand again!) and answered a couple of questions, told some jokes and then they started the show.

It was neat being there because I tend to associate stuff on TV as being fake and it was pretty cool seeing the big 'C' desk and the set and all that stuff. It looks way smaller in person, but Stephen Colbert appears to be a normal size in person (maybe even bigger than normal size because he's pretty tall).

At any rate I'm really tired from riding the train so much this weekend plus I didn't get any sleep on Saturday night, so I'm going to stop this probably poorly worded update and catch some sleep. Thank you and good night!

A Snake Story

Since I've now seen Snakes on a Plane (and it was awesome) I figured I may as well tell the lone story I have related to the movie that does not involve the internet. On my vacation last month I got drunk, a lot. The trip was eight full days and I was drunk all eight of them to varying degrees. On the first night when I only hung out with my sister and cousin (before we met our group of mostly under twenty-one friends), we finished up around 12am (the bar closed at 3am, so this was an early night) and went into the dinning area to get some pizza.

More drunk people, cool. Drunker than us. One particularly drunk guy was sitting there talking to his two friends and saying "I will fight a snake! I'll fight a snake!" over and over. I smirked, as the first thing that came to mind was Snakes on a Plane, but I figured he was just drunk and rambling. We made fun of him a little and ate our pizza and went to bed.

Now jump to the last night on the ship. It's around midnight again and the bar we were always at is fucking packed. Normally it was our extended group of fifteen or twenty people, but this night it was like a crowded Manhattan bar, except there was only one bar tender. He said the bar was never that crowded on the last day, so I guess we lucked out. Oh yeah we were also in the middle of a tropical storm, so it was raining and the boat was rocking a good amount.

Anyway, it's about this time that the very same snake guy from the first night (drunk again) wanders out and starts talking about fighting snakes again. I'm drunker than I was the last time I saw him, so I go "Hey, it's snake guy! What's up, dude?" and I shook his hand. He then leans in and says to me the words I will never forget: "Dude, Snakes on a Plane, August 18th, Samuel L. Jackson, mother fucking snakes!" My response was of course "I am already there, dude!"

It was a beautiful moment where two drunk people who had never met before had something in common (aside from being drunk). I think he hugged me after that (but it was one of those macho hugs where you do that hand clasp thing and sort of bump shoulders, so it was okay) and then stumbled off into the night. I never saw him again, but I hope he thought the movie was awesome as well. Mother fuckin' snakes making the world a better place. Who knew?

There's What on the Plane?

Mother fuckin' snakes. That's what. I swear, I don't know what's the matter with me either. I hope this movie is terrible. Terrible like Deep Blue Sea is really not a very good movie, yet somehow it's still awesome. I think just the fact that it blatantly ripped off Jaws, Jurassic Park, Alien and threw in a smart-mouthed, sarcastic black guy (which all of those movies lacked for the most part) is what made it so great. Plus Samuel L. Jackson got eaten by a shark (omg spoilers!). So did Michael Rapaport too actually, but he fucking deserved that shit because The War at Home is the worst god damned show ever. I know it came out after Deep Blue Sea, but I don't care. That's what we call a preemptive strike.


Washington, DC; Day 3

The saga continues! Today was the 'presentation day' or something. The convention floor was only kinda open and all day there were seminars and presentations and junk. We got these barcode scanner dealies so instead of making everyone at a specific event sign in, we just scan them and we're set. This year was a trial run though, so we only did six events or so, but it went very well and I think the CEO (who has final say with these things) will be pleased with the results. Makes things a ton easier on us since nobody has to do data entry. Not that I care, since it wouldn't be me, but people at my company tend to really like to make work way harder than is has to be for everyone. For example, write up an article that has to be published in Word, then send it to someone to convert to HTML and post it to the website. You know, instead of using Dreamweaver or something, which works exactly the same as Word only it outputs HTML that isn't fucking insane. But I digress.

After a good ten hours on my feet, they fucking hurt. I was wearing dress shoes (we have to wear suits), which didn't help. I put my sneakers on when I got back here and I felt like I was walking on clouds. You know, if you could actually walk on them and they weren't made of water.

Oh yeah, I saw Queen Latifah. She was giving a speech about something, I dunno (I had to leave after like five minutes), and she wrote a children's book apparently, so I guess that's what she was talking about.

Also I saw Paco Underhill who wrote some book and is the CEO and founder of Envirosell which I never heard of before today but it sounds kind of like bullshit. His book sounds like it might be interesting though. All the rest of the speakers I saw were just people who I either work with or don't know (and thus are boring and unfamous, though the COO does have a bunch of pictures in his office of him and Bill Clinton from that one time they met), and so not worth mentioning.

I think I'll take some pictures tomorrow. Maybe I'll walk over to the White House. I think it's pretty close.

Next up I wanted to quickly mention the WTC movie trailer but a longass tirade of text came out after it, so I decided to move it to the 'more' text. Read at your own risk! I'll be back tomorrow!

Continue reading...


Mission... Improbable

So my sister's college graduation was last weekend. It actually wasn't horribly boring like mine was. The speaker was interesting and gave a pretty good speech. Also the school managed to get Billy Taylor to come and play a couple jazz tunes. Overall not bad. Rather than ride home with my parents (a two-hour car ride is always a pleasure), I opted to hang out with my sister for a day and then she'd drive me home Sunday since she was planning on coming home anyway. She's only got two weeks left on her apartment lease and the landlord isn't renewing it. That place is a dump anyway. Nothing too exciting happened.

We did see Mission: Impossible 3 though. It wasn't too bad. Good, if not unrealistic action, but it had good pacing and Philip Seymour Hoffman was pretty cool as the bad guy. One thing that always annoys me is how movies and TV use defibrillators and even CPR as some sort of magical life-saving method that brings a person who has died back to life. I only know this because I worked with EMS and paramedic (as well as fire fighters) workers for two summers. It doesn't work that way, damnit! Allow me to nit-pick, if you will.

When your heart goes into fibrillation, it essentially is still beating, but it's very irregular and isn't really pumping any blood. No amount of CPR can ever bring someone out of fibrillation. CPR only serves to keep air circulating in your system for as long as possible (thus getting oxygen to the brain, which starts to die after only a couple minutes of losing oxygen), but it's only effective for I think up to twenty minutes. The defibrillators send a jolt of electricity through your heart in such a way that it offsets the fibrillation (hence: defibrillator) and the heart beats normally again. I'm not even sure if there's any way to restart a stopped heart short of an adrenaline shot or massaging it.

But anyway I learn to ignore these things, because I already ignore how ridiculous shows like 24 (which I love) are with computer and technology lingo and use (I still don't know what 'open a socket' means in the context they use it in, but it probably sounds pretty cool to someone who doesn't know what the fuck), so why stop there? I guess. Being accurate isn't always entertaining I suppose. Anyways, M:I3 was a pretty good action movie, Tom Cruise insanity aside. He does a ridiculous amount of running in this movie, by the way. I think J.J. Abrams was having a fun time making fun of how much Tommy-boy runs in all his other movies, because he pretty much never stops running in this movie. And that's about all I have to say about that.

Jason... Mewse? Mewes?

If you haven't been you should read Kevin Smith's blog because he's currently up to part eight of the story of Jason Mewes (the guy who played Jay in all of Kevin Smith's movies, sans Jersey Girl, but that doesn't really count) and his struggle with heroin addiction (among other things). Even if you're not a fan of Smith's movies, it's a really excellent read, though he's being somewhat of a pain in the ass with the cliffhanger endings. Still, it's a interesting look into what it's like to deal with a loved one with an addiction (a totally foreign thing to me, might I add), and Smith is of course an excellent writer.
Long reads, but worth it, I think.

When the Snakes Hit the Fan

In my continuing efforts to keep the six or so people who read this blog up to date on Snakes on a Plane, I present to you with this awesome bit of news. They're refilming some parts of the movie in order to knock the rating up from PG-13 to R because of strong interest the movie has generated (which I'll admit is based on the title combined with the fact that Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson is the star). This indeed means we may just hear the line that has graced many a website: "WE'VE GOT MOTHER FUCKIN' SNAKES!" or something similar. I for one, and excited. And yes, everyone who actually wants to see this movie knows it's ridiculous in every way possible. That's what makes it so awesome.

Also awesome is the official logo has been revealed. As you might expect it's hilarious, much like the title and concept of the movie. Mother fuckin' snakes!

More Mother Fuckin' Snakes!

I'm going to keep updating about Snakes on a Plane because there is no way it won't be awesome. There's a teaser trailer up, complete with awesomly bad CG snakes. What more could you ask for?! How about snakes in some cleavage? Okay!! How about chopping off a snake's head with a mother fucking ax!? YOU BET!! How about Samuel L. Jackson using a snake as a fucking whip!? THAT'S HERE TOO!! I think New Line may have the next Lord of the Rings franchise here!

In other news I've been slowly tweaking the blog software I made. Now I can assign updates multiple categories and I can add a 'full article' section so super long updates don't have to show up on the front page in full now. In fact, I've utilized this feature in this very update! Happy St. Patty's day, and have fun drinking! I know I will!

Continue reading...


Does Whatever A Spider Can

If I might take an opportunity to nerd it up some more, you may or may not have noticed that the official Spider-man movie site thingy was updated yesterday. It's essentially giving away at least one part of the plot along with a potential villain.

Black suit Spider-man. The black suit is of course the alien symbiote that, when merged with Eddie Brock, became Venom, who is one of the more popular bad guys in the Spider-man mythos. Perhaps little known to non-comic nerds (of which I don't claim to be anyway; I find reading about comics and what happens in them to be more interesting than reading the actual comics) is that Spider-man actually used the suit before Brock. It yielded a more powerful, but also more pissed off Spidy, who eventually rejected the suit when he found out it was trying to take him over (so it's really more of a parasite than a symbiote I guess, but I digress).

Meanwhile Eddie Brock blamed Parker and Spider-man for all his misfortunes, and the combined hatred of Brock and the symbiote made for a pretty powerful, if not comical and weird at times, foe.

It's my understanding that Topher Grace (not to be confused with the similar looking mewse) was cast in this and it's been rumored that he's going to play Brock and possibly Venom. Eddie Brock was always a pretty beefy guy, so I'm not sure how that will work.

Also apparently Bryce Dallas Howard has been cast as Gwen Stacy, who was one of Parker's girlfriends in the comics who died in a scenario similar to the one in the first movie where the Green Goblin dropped that cable car full of kids and Mary Jane from the bridge (only Gwen didn't survive in the comic version). And on top of that Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from Wings!) will play the Sandman.

So, for those keeping track, this movie potentially will have two villains, a love triangle, a dead (would be?) girlfriend, a struggle between Spider-man and the alien suit and also I'm sure Harry Osborn will be pissed because he knows his super hero best friend killed his crazy father. I have faith in Sam Raimi, but that is a lot of crap for one movie. Anyways; May 4th, 2007! Be there or be... square I guess. What a stupid saying.

We've Got Mother Fuckin' Snakes!

I can say without a single doubt in my mind that Snakes on a Plane will be the greatest triumph in the history of cinema. I don't know a damned thing about it, but even if it's the worst movie ever, it's still got the greatest title ever. It's pure genius. They recently launched the official web site. It looks like they're playing it straight and serious, which will only add to the awesome.

Apparently they wanted to rename the movie Flight 121, but Sam Jackson refused to be in it if they didn't change the name back. He's my new hero. In his honor I will end every sentence I say tomorrow with 'mother fucker'. Mother fucker.