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NYC Shackmeet: Sergeon Edition | by Mike
April 10, 2006 (3:56am EST)
So after NYC Shackmeet 2.0 was a rousing success, even though we couldn't get into Comiccon (except for Portax), we somehow managed to convince sergeon's wife (dubbed sergeonette by dahanese) that we were an okay bunch of crazy internet people and we should be allowed to come over to their apartment for general drunken antics and video games. Sounds, reasonable, right?

My journey began at Grand Central, as it often does. This time I didn't miss my train, so I had plenty of time to get lost and stuff. I stopped at the Starbucks at Times Square because I'm retarded apparently, and forced them to make me a frappochino even though it was cold outside (I actually forgot a frappochino was a cold beverage because I never go to Starbucks, but I have a gift card). That killed a good twenty minutes. After that I headed off in the direction of sergeon's place.

Walking 28 blocks north (uh, I think I was going north) is easy because when you go north and south the blocks are really short. nyranger told me there was a liquor store right near sergeon's building, which I found really easily (thanks to the big yellow 'LIQUOR' sign), so I bought a bottle of vodka there and headed back to sergeon's.

notd665 happened to arrive right at the same time, so we headed up after guessing which elevator button to press since the numbers were rubbed off after years of use. We kick ass and got it right on the first try!

dahanese, her boyfriend Eric, her sister and a friend of her sister (who was apparently from California and had only met her sister hours before the party) were already there. ttyRazor, nyranger and Portax had gone on an expedition to Best Buy to pick up a second controller for Guitar Hero. While we waited we chatted and drank a little and decided to order enough pizza to feed a small country. Why thirteen people needed seven pizzas I'll never know, but I guess sergeon and sergeonette won't have to worry about what to eat for a couple weeks now.

Eventually the Guitar Hero crew returned after a successful trip, tiny guitar in hand! I asked nyranger what the score of the Rangers game earlier in the day had been, and to my dismay he did not know (they won 4-3 in overtime). Consider my innocence lost. Also loboca showed up around this time with a really expensive bottle of scotch. I didn't snap a picture of it, but our range and quantity of alcohol was quite impressive. It was our mission to drink all of it, or die trying. Also loboca's scotch totally eclipsed my bottle of Gray Goose. Damn him!

At this point we set up Guitar Hero and ttyRazor proceeded to own the crap out of everyone. Until he played sergeon. Let me tell you something about sergeon. The man is insanely good at Guitar Hero. He claims he never played it before, but I don't believe him. I think he secretly has been practicing for the last month or two in anticipation of this Shackmeet. Actually, he said he plays the non-hero variety of guitar, which greatly helped him in crushing his enemies (otherwise known as us).

After everyone had a turn (I totally beat three people in a row too, even though I suck ass at Guitar Hero), the pizza arrived. We chowed down for a bit and then set up the DDR pads for an old fashioned dance-off. Sadly nobody made a 'you got served!' joke at any point. I'm sorely disappointed in us. Also apparently dahanese's sister is really good at DDR and bought a PS1 specifically so she could play DDR in her spare time. I think that's all she does. She played Eric and her friend guy, and beat them both handily (though Eric is pretty good himself). Then nyranger and ttyRazor played with hilarious results. If dahanese's sister is the pinnacle of DDR skill, then nyranger and ttyRazor are the nadir. nyranger was so bad that the game actually rejected him before the song ended. Harsh, yes, but it had to be done (he's the worst Asian ever).

At this point the lady downstairs knocked on the door and told us damn dirty kids to stop jumping on her ceiling. So that was the end of DDR. Also it was the end of dahanese's sister and her friend, because she was working on tiny amounts of sleep and without regular DDR injections to sustain her, she had to go home and catch some sleep. Sadness, and I didn't even get to play! Back to Guitar Hero though. Also we had four DSs present, so I suggested we start with a rousing game of Metroid Hunters. Most excellent. I can't remember who won, but it was a lot of fun either way (on a related note, what's the point of having headshots if they don't do a decent amount of damage? I had three headshots in a row on the same person and they didn't die). After Metroid we decided that pictochat would be a great idea. I blame the alcohol.

I never really cared about pictochat because I don't know anyone with a DS and it can't be used over wifi. However, if you've had a couple of drinks, pictochat becomes hilarious. We spent probably close to a half hour fucking around, drawing various Shack catch phrases (which are infinitely funnier when you are drunk and saying them out loud, as opposed to seeing them sober in text, which is generally not very funny).

After pictochat and trading DS's for Guitar Hero controllers to keep the party going, we decided playing Tetris would be awesome. Tetris is already a ton of fun when you're alone and sober, but in a large drunken group it's spectacular. I think I cursed at my DS more than when I play Counter-Strike.

At this point someone wanted to see Oblivion, so we all ran to sergeon's computer to check it out. I took some pictures and played Tetris at the same time. It was a pretty fancy looking game (though the walking animations were uh, interesting), but I have close to zero interest in it, so I went back to the Tetris/Guitar Hero combo that had been working for me thus far.

Around this time Portax busted out some awesomeness. You may recall helvetica's adventures in eBaying random Counter-Strike merchandise (pictures here) which yielded her expired gum and stickers from the Ukraine. Anyway, apparently Portax asked her to send him some, and we each got a piece of awesome rock-hard CS gum. nyranger ate his. I guess he was hungry. He seemed okay after that, but someone might want to check on him later or something.

After that we continued Guitar Hero (sergeon was fully owning everyone of course), and switched to Mario Kart DS. The combo of people who have been drinking, cheap AI, evil powerups and trash talking made Mario Kart excellent fun. Much hilarity was had whenever someone got red shelled or blue shelled or ran into a wall or something. I was damned to hell on many seperate occasions. Good times indeed.

Around 1:00am it was time to head out. After convincing me not to walk two miles to Grand Central (I doubt I would have made it, since the last train left at 1:50am, so thanks guys!), and giving loboca a pizza, we said good bye and headed off to the subway. loboca and I blabbered about various things like our jobs and stuff and parted ways at Grand Central. I wandered around GC for a while and bought my ticket home. Also, I'm totally awesome, but that's a story for another day!

As always, NYC Shackmeets are a ton of fun. DDR, Guitar Hero, various DS games, lots of drinking, lots of cursing and Counter-Strike gum! I ask you, can it get any better? I think not!

NYC Shackmeet: Sergeon Edition

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dahanese's sister and that dude play Guitar hero!

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sergeon likes pizza

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dahanese served us pizza because that's what girls do.

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Eric and dahanese's sister play DDR! (I totally forgot her name)

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I figured out how to tilt my camera!

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Hot sister-on-sister DDR action!

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I forgot that guy's name too :(

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nyranger and ttyRazor were pretty bad at DDR.

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dahanese plays Guitar Hero while loboca plays DS and Eric looks on!

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Portax, sergeon, notd and dahanese

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nyranger, sergeonette and ttyRazor

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Hey there ladies! Awww yeah.

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sergeon, notd, dahanese and Eric

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goatse and "I ate a cat!" You guys are so banned.

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Lovers battle! Winner gets to be on top!!

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Edgewise was with us in spirit. I'm not racist, I swear.

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More Guitar Hero. Exciting!

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nyranger could really wail on that guitar... or something.

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pictochat is hard work.

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nyranger and Portax rock out.

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And continue to rock out....

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Still rocking out.

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notd and sergeon tickle the ivories. No wait, that's piano, nevermind.

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ttyRazor, sergeonette and nyranger watch the battle.

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Try not to look too exited, guys!

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I think loboca is trying to tell me something.

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We need more pictures of nyranger and Portax playing Guitar Hero, stat!

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Tetris is hard work.

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dahanese stole my camera!

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Guitar Hero is fun, but kind of hard.

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Dudes, Tetris :[

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The more you drink, the goofier faces you make when you play. It's a scientific study.

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Screw Oblivion, I have to play Tetris!

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Oblivion is a very fancy game for fancy people.

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Yeah, kill that troll thingy!

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Counter-Strike gum! I was too drunk to put the camera on macro mode.

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Clash of the titans!

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We were so entertaining to sergeonette that she decided to read a magazine :(

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Hohoho, hilarious, you goddamn drunkard! Who turned the apartment upside down?!

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I'm not sure what's going on here, but it's begging for a caption!

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I think we started Mario Kart around now. ttyRazor hacks the internets.

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nyranger and sergeonette

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Not telling people you're about to snap a picture is the best way to get a picture.

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Alright people, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!

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Thinking of these captions is hard work.

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Here's yet another stealth picture. People probably hate that.

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No, seriously, get the fuck out! Stop taking pictures!